Updated: Sep 15
I'm talking about american football, not the respectable international sport futbol.
Firstly they need to change the name to hand egg, the fact they used a name that was already taken and well known worldwide just shows how fucking dumb football fans are.
The worst thing about football is having to listen to idiots talk about it, they always try to sound like political scientists, durrrr they need better defense, oh wow you're so wise, tell us more about how you became fat and bald before you hit age 30 and you haven't jogged longer than 8 seconds since you were in high school.
Football players aren't "talented", they're just overly inspired to repeatedly do the same lame bullshit over and over because someone is paying them. I guarantee if no money was involved they wouldn't be playing it. Football isn't even fun, who the fuck day dreams about being a blocker? The only semi-fun positions is being the quarter back or being the receiver, the rest of it, money. And I guarantee nobody would even watch it if it wasn't so heavily rooted in gambling.
Ugh just the ego trips in every aspect of it, the players are just meat heads who suck at everything else in life. The coaches are just stealth retards who are just really good at convincing people they need to be there. The commentary people are just sub-intellectual jackoffs. And it's mega lame that they have women as commentators now, I'm not sexist at all and really don't give a shit, but I mean you know those women have never played football and probably didn't watch it until their hooked up husbands got them into it, like oh now she's a football expert? Tell us more about your years of experience as a soccer mom.
The worst ego trips are the fans, it's just a big circle jerk, all these morons are paranoid of people thinking they're gay so they over compensate by rehearsing all this useless information in their heads so they can regurgitate it at work and high five each other for knowing the thing. Having a favorite team is the closest they will ever get to developing a personality. The logic to a favorite team is stupid, like if teams can change locations, change owners, change players, buy players from other parts of the country while moving the team to another state, what's the point?
And please just shut the fuck up about your fantasy team, you're not smart, you're not cool, trust me on this one just shut the fuck up, no seriously, wait no just stop talking, just shut the fuck up, ok, it doesn't matter, you're fucking dumb, I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
The dumbest shit is when the fans complain about money and contracts. You know why they're making that much money? Because you're a retard and won't change the channel, get a hobby, read a fucking book, recycle trash, do something useful with your life, god damn, see what you made me do to your face? Football is mostly just drama, well 75% commercials, 10% hype, 10% drama and 5% action. Now here's 12 minutes of commercials for disgusting products that real athletes would never eat or drink, and remember all your coworkers are gonna think you're a fag if you don't get a bigger truck.
Skateboarding is a real mans sport, football players are just a bunch of sissies in comparison to skaters. Oh no, don't tackle me in the soft grass while I'm fully suited in pads and there's trainers and paramedics on standby, and freshly fluffed towels and cold drinks being served 8 feet away and padded benches for us to sit on half the time. Skaters fucking slam on concrete repeatedly, get back up and try again until they land the trick or they crawl away in defeat. Skateboarding is a thousand times harder than football. Skaters deserve all the money football players get, football players deserve double of whatever minimum wage is.
If you're a football fan and I offended you, I am sorry... sorry that you're fucking dumb!